my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize