I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I think people are normalizing furries
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
