so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
