i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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