i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize