whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
