I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
