Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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