in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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