Can Purell be used as lube?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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