Capitaan dildo arrescate!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
