This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize