Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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