You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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