i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
