That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
