I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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