yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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