so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
