First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize