absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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