Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
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