there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize