someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i was born a porn star she said
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
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