my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
