But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She's the barista slut.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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