I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
