oh god the rape fog is back!
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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