I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
