after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
