their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
