Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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