chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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