Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
