Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
