ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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