THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
