I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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