it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
