ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
