I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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