hotel room ftw
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
