Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
