Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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