Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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