He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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