well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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