at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
