I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
