I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
