Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
