this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
