i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize