let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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