that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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