He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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