how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
