My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
