Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
